I went snorkeling (and I use that term loosely)

So I have never snorkeled in my life. I don't get it. As my girlfriend, who is much more experienced in this area realized, figured that out. To me, if you go in the water, you dive. Apparently when you snorkel, you float, you don't dive. Riiiight, gotta remember that your breathing tube needs to stay out of the water so you can breathe. Took a couple tries, but I got it.

Just to explain how much of a non-snorkeler I am, let's discuss it. I couldn't figure out the flippers, couldn't figure out the goggles, couldn't figure out the breathing tube thing. Pretty much the only thing I got right was getting in the water.

Time goes by and I got my goggles on right. HELL YEAH! I'm getting there. Got the flippers on that damn near tripped me everytime the water would move (so all the time), and I even got the breathing tube thing down. It is now time to go out in the water...well...deeper in the water.

Out I go. Oh, and I even brought a camera made for underwater pictures. Not that I could see out of it so I just started taking pictures hoping everything would come out right. If not right, I'll be happy if one picture comes out normal.

Somehow I lost a flipper, Kim was champ and got it for me because that would have sucked flipping with one flipper. Although she did ask me how I managed to lose that flipper. All I could do was just stare at her with a blank stare because honestly, I have no idea.

She was pointing out these black pointy things at the bottom of the ocean that she told me I needed to stay away from....which of course I kept trying to grab. I got scolded. What?? We're by a medical school, they need practice, I would have needed help, it would have all worked out. She then said if I touch it, I would have to have it surgically removed. Whatever, I had surgery before, people can be so fussy sometimes. Oh well, since I lost my flipper the first time, I didn't think I was really in a place to argue with her. She saw jellyfish, I didn't, I wish I had. I would have touched one. Once again, the scolding happened. Geez, I get scolded a lot. Maybe one day I'll snorkel with someone else just to say I touched one and to tell people, ah, yeah, it fucking hurts. Jackass got nothing on me, let me tell you!