How my grandma writes...I love it.

So my grandma wrote me an email and I think I almost peed myself when I read this. I realize this has nothing to do with Dominica...but it's funny. My grandmother is almost 80 who is a spit-fire type of gal. It's about a tree in the back of their yard that came down and needing someone to remove it...the story is more about the movers. Funny.

Remember me telling you that we had to get some of the branches out of the cottonwood tree out in back by the fence. That's the one where one hurking branch dropped on our neighbors fence. Well anyway I had been looking for someone to do it. Had several different ones lined up to do it and each one at the last minute said they couldn't do it because, oh they might have a dental appointment, they probably would have to go to either their child's kindergarden or college graduation, aaaand etc and more etc. Finally called a gal friend who several months had some tree work done by a neightbor and asked if she would give me his phone number. Anyway called him and he was "BOOKED" until after the first of the year. Asked him if he could recommend anyone and he said yes and called them and they said yes would be out to look at it the following day =- Oh sure I have heard that story before. Anyway next day this guy shows up. After about 3 seconds he asked to use the bathroom - Well I suppose everyone has to go now and then. He went in to your grandfathers bathroom, was there quite awhile, but guess that took cAre of the problem and then came out back and looked at the tree and said sure he could do it on Friday (2 days off). Now Friday is my playing Bridge day, but hey those branches got to come down, so we arranged a time. Come Friday he called and said they were running behind schedule on a current job but would be out in a couple of hours (does this story have a familiar ring). What can I say. Anyway more than a couple of hours later he arrived, and apologized for the delay and Öh can I use your bathroom? I was goiing to suggest a good doctor to see, but Sara those branches have got to come down. I said sure and of course he knew the way. Now this is a long drawn out story, but there is more. He is in the bathroom for a good 15-20 minutes. Probably knew everything that was in there. I kept hearing the toilet flushing and flushing and flushing. Finally the door opens and he asks öh do you by any chance have a plunger. Gad Zooks what is going on - Now your darling grandfather is not home and hey I'M not going in there. Told him to wait a bit and I went out to the garage and got the plunger and handed it to him without looking in the bathroom. (Sometimes it's just better not to know - right). Anyway another 10-15 minutes go by and I am about to go and rap on the door to see just what is happening. He again steps out and says "Do you have any paper towels or regular towels. Sara I am beginning to think that this isn't EVEN FUNNY, but the branches really need to come down. I gave him several old towels that I keep around to do floors etc. and the door once more closes. In about 5-6 minutes he comes out with some very wet towels which I told him to just put on the washing machine and out he goes to work on the tree with his partner. He smilingly told me he had just washed my bathroom floor. I think he wanted a pat on the head. As soon as he went outside with his partner I went into "THE ROOM" to see what was in store for me. Hey men never clean up bathrooms - No exception this time. The sink was sort of a pukey grey color with grit in it and the floormat when you picked it was QUITE HEAVY with ????? Scary right. Went in and got some more towels and took everything that wasn't nailed down and put them in the washing machine (with extra soap, bleach, disinfectant, etc and more etc.) Don't ever have a tree man say he will do your bathroom floors - just trust me on this one. Anyway got it all cleaned up - hey it was so pretty that I thought I should invite some people over to openly admire it. (I was not going to let him use the bathroom again, no matter what he said) (He didn't ask to either). Was interesting to see how he shimmied up the little tree next to the cottonwood and then sort of swung over to the cottonwood. You couldn't pay me enough money to do that type of work. All in all didn't do a bad job. His clean up was pretty much like the bathroom clean up, but at least the branches were on the ground (our side). Asked him if he could possibly take 8 or 9 bags of leaves etc that we had on the side of the house. He told me probably not as his truck was pretty full. Now this is when he got "THE LOOK". The jerk, I even told him I would pay him extra. Well the bottom line is that I guess he decided it might be smarter to take them, which they managed to squeeze them in the truck. So except for the bathroom having flushing problems on and off since that time the branches are now down and your grandfather and I went and replaced the several boards that got broken when the original branch came crashing down.