I don't have crabs, and please...don't poke my tit.

I was walking Kim home last night and something caught my eye on the ground. It was dark, so I didn't know what it was, but I didn't want to kick it...or get "it" on my shoe, so I had to stop suddenly and Kim looked back. The "it" moved and got on it's back legs like it was going to fight me! It was a sewer crab! So, obviously startled, I said "Oh shit" and stepped back. Then all of a sudden I hear Kim screaming this God awful scream that I thought something happened to her, so of course I'm looking at her to see what she's screaming at, well it was the sewer crab. I mean the dude looked pissed...but we're bigger. I was just startled for the record.

Now, that being said, I didn't do what Kim said I did. "I only screamed because you screamed and scampered back." First off, I don't scream, I may moan loud, but that's for other reasons. Second...I don't scamper, I merely stepped back. Just wanted that out in case others got conflicting stories from her.

So today I went snorkeling and sometimes I forget how bad I am at it. Like, I understand now how to properly put on the mask and breathing tube thing (and for the record I left my flippers at home so I would actually have to use my legs), but seriously, I never look where I'm going...I just follow the shells. However, when I went into the water, I saw that there was this guy with about 20 local children, probably like between 7-17 years old, and I saw that they were playing games, so I tried to remember that and go a little further out in the water.

A short while later, Kim and Jessica come and we all head out on the dock. We're almost all the way to the end of the dock and they started to study and I decided to take my shirt off, but I was laying on my stomach, nothing was showing. Kim and Jess decided to go in the water when soon I hear them calling my name. I look towards the water where they're at, and I realized I'm surrounded by a ton of kids. Obviously since my shirt is off, I couldn't get up and move, so I just put my head down and my arms to my side when I noticed a poke in my left tit.

I turn my head and this girl who was maybe 12 or 13 poked my left tit and ran into the crowd of kids. Are you serious? So out come Kim and Jessica and all the kids jump into the water. 5 minutes later, Kim kinda a tad bit goes off on this girl about how that's disrespectful. The girl said she was sorry and pretty much avoids us for the rest of the day. So now that I think about it, she had to reach in between my arms to get to the side of my tit. Where I'm going with this is I think we have a soon to be lesbian on our hands and more than likely, she's going to be nuts like all the others in about 8 years. Just fyi.

You know, all I'm sayin' is, usually people ask me if I'm a girl or guy, they don't try to feel for the answer.